Missing You
by ronlover93
Summary: Caroline find herself unable to let go of him but denies it all the time...on the other hand, Geroge is trying very desperately to get back together with her. But now with Hirochan involved, will they suceed...?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I'm new around here so if I missed out anything that I should have written, please forgive me… to be honest; I hated the ending of Paradise Kiss…wish it was better… **

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it, don't sue me…lolz…

I went around the corner and run down the stairs as fast as I could. I pushed opened the huge, pinkish-red door, unlocking the latch of it and went inside. 'Guys…look!' the sight of it wiped the joy out of my heart. What's more depressing is that the smell of the air inside proved something that I didn't want to believe from the very beginning.

The atelier was empty. Ten years, why wouldn't it be? The sewing machine standing on the table where Arashi used to spend his time with was all covered with cobwebs. This was the third time! How could I have not remembered? Paradise's days are over. Way over. Why can't I seem to put that in mind and let it be?

I went out of the place and slowly walked up the stairs.

Flashback.

'Caroline!'

I tripped over the step and fell down. 'What? Who's Caroline?'

End (Flashback)

Oh, Miwako…I missed you dearly. I really do. Even though somewhere deep down, I know that they have been long gone and have already carried on with their lives, I still want to burst through that door, like always, spreading the good news or showing them what I have achieved recently that they already know but pretend to be surprise. Then the very thought of George pulled the senses out of me. Tears started pouring out of my eyes and I knelt down. My face filled up the gap between my knees and my chest.

'You idiot! Why didn't you go with him?' I heard myself saying despite of my sniffing and growling. I feel so pathetic. I started hitting myself on the head very harshly. Then I suddenly remembered, oh no! My photo shoot! I'm going to be late! I thought I could make it on time if I run faster, but I didn't. Make it on time, I mean. My feet were so heavy that I can barely walk properly on the ground.

Never am I going back to that place ever again. Na-ah. Never. I could never forget the days when I was in that place but I'd much rather not think of it if it's not necessary. Or should I put it the other way: I don't want to remember them at all. Maybe that's just it…

**A/N Well, that's it. There's a second part for it so if you want to read them just review, okay…? (If there's someone who'll actually read it…) I really don't mind that nobody's reading it. Well, to those that'll read it, thx for reading…! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's part 2…**

Arrrghh…that annoying director! I was just late for an hour! At least compare to that, what's the word again? Oh yeah…_bitch._ She was late for five hours and when she came, the director was so grateful to see her and even asked her if she wants coffee. Now, let's see… What did I get? A simple: you're late. The world world's waiting for you! For the past years, she's been competing with me. She such a pain in the ass…every job I take, she must fight with me for it. Arrrghh…it's _so_ annoying!

Even if I've become the most high-priced model compared to any of the other models, I was still being treated like I just started modeling career yesterday. It's probably about the no agency thing. Ahh…I still need to wait for a month till I can model for Mikako's new collection for the summer. After that, I might reconsider the suggestion she made last fall, opening up an agency myself. She says that I am way more experienced than any of the models she met and after meeting me, the clothes she designed just don't seem to fit anyone but me.

I was thinking about all of those during the whole shoot. I walked back to the apartment I've bought two years ago. Even if it is not as grand as the one George is staying in last time, it feels more like home. I sighed. I took out the keys and opened the door of my apartment. It was pitched black and I couldn't see a thing. I was deep in my own thoughts. I remembered those days when I was living with George. It seems as if it's going to last forever. Oh, I don't know…maybe I still miss the sight of him.

I just couldn't seem to get him out of my mind for the past ten days. Even after things have started working out between me and Hiro-chan. Or should I say, fiancé? He promised me a trip to Paris as our honeymoon and Mikako gave us two tickets for a play that will be held at that time.

This just isn't working out for me…for the past few years, I've been dating a lot of other guy models or even guys that I just simply bumped into in the middle of nowhere. I can't help myself to compare all of them, even Hiro-chan, with George. The one man I truly loved in the whole of my life.

They just weren't good enough. I wondered how George is doing now. I haven't heard from him since the day he left…well, me. Every job I've taken, I always avoided jobs offered in Paris. I was on my own. Not with any modeling agencies, I mean...I just couldn't stand it when they ask you to do this, do that, follow the rules…I don't like being ordered around. After eighteen years of being treated so, I've truly had enough of all those nonsense.

I cried myself to sleep that night, praying hard that I would forget about it and let go soon.


	3. Chapter 3

There wasn't a minute that passed when I wasn't thinking about him. I wished every day that I had gone with him. Slowly I realized, even if I tried to deny it, he has become a part of me. Every morning before I open my eyes after I woke from sleep, I always smelled his cologne. I finally concluded that it was just my imagination.

When I opened my eyes, the smell of him is gone. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find that familiar scent. It was the same scent that took my breath away every single time. It was the scent that made me smile all day long even if it the day couldn't get any worst.

It was the scent that made him a part of me. When I opened my eyes this morning, I saw a face that I would recognize even if I lost my memory or something. I took a quick glance at the clock on my side-table. I quickly got up and without even changing my clothes; I went to the door and opened it. I saw the flower that was so familiar to me. It comforts my heart every time to see the eyes that the flower has wrapped itself around. 'Hey, sweetie…I finally found the time to come and visit you which I had been wanting to do so for such a long time.'

'Oh…it's so good to see you again!' I wrap myself around him tightly. The flower looked so strange on him but despite that he was still in one of his best looks. 'Yes…' he came in and I shut the door behind him. 'How's the shoot yesterday?' I paused for a while, thinking. 'Well, lets see…it's not really satisfying…' we laughed. It's so good to hear the same laughter that brought my heart back to my soul after sorrow has swallowed it down completely. 'Sweetie, I've brought some really good tea leaves with me this time…' he passed me the paper bag he was holding all the time. 'Why didn't you ring the bell, huh?' the last time he came, he brought the recipe of the stew that he used to make.

'Well, I guess I understand that models' sleep is as precious as gold…' he laughed softy. 'I heard that you got engaged.' He asked after a long silence, folding his hands neatly on his lap. I went into the kitchen and made us some tea with the tealeaves he brought. My mouth hanged open and almost touched the floor instantly.

'Yes…' I said softly with a slight taste of guilt. 'Oh…how did you ended up in this state, sweetie?' he said with sympathy like I was a kid abandoned and neglected by the world. 'I'm not quite sure myself…' I suddenly felt so empty inside. Like something is missing from the very day he left town and found someone waiting for him on the ship. He took a part of me with him that day. I could never forget.

Silence.

'Are you sure that this what you want, Yukari?' I was wondering whom he was calling and suddenly realize that it was I. This is the first time he called me by that name. It's been a very long time since the last time I heard someone say that name. I laughed at myself.

He took a zip from the tea I placed in front of him a few minutes ago. It hit me at that very moment. The questions came back. Those that I wanted to ask nut was too afraid to do so because I was scared that it would hurt too much for me to bear alone.

I didn't answer his question. He gave me all the time I needed to think everything through. I started from ten years ago. When my soul is still as pure as water, when no frowns hid under the smile, when my heart was still beating. When I was still breathing in, and before I stopped believing in what I believe in for my whole life. When my greatest dreams was yet to be destroyed.

It was during the time that I thought it was going to last forever.


	4. Chapter 4

He waited for me to reply. It suddenly hit me. He called me that because he can see that I have never change from ten years ago. Come to think of it, it does make a hell lot of sense. I compared 'new' Caroline with the 'old' Yukari. They didn't have much difference. They both loved the guy that left her for his own dreams. Never will she forget that.

I sat there, thinking over all the decisions I have made for the past ten years. I had a flashback of the day he left for Paris.

He walked coolly towards Arashi and Miwako. They were there to say farewell. The photo shoot won't start until two hours later. It was an excuse. I was hiding behind the huge pillar only a few meters away from them. I overheard their conversation. 'Caroline called my cell yesterday night and told me that she had a photo shoot that starts twenty minutes later. She needs to get ready. She apologizes for not being able to come.'

'Well, I better be going now…' then his beautiful blue eyes sparkle a little under the ray of light. Then he shot a smile towards my direction. Then his mouth made up the words 'I LOVE YOU' silently. I looked behind me and realize that he knew I was there all the time standing. Big drops of tears blurred my vision. I closed my eyes.

'Who's there, George?' Arashi asked when he saw George doing what he just did and I quickly dogged behind the pillar again.

'Oh, it's nothing...' he paused and then said very loudly as if wanting me to hear very clearly while stealing a glance towards my direction. 'Tell Yukari that I'll be back someday...it's a promise.' this time our eyes met and he looked straight at me. After a few seconds, he boarded the ship.

After standing there for quite sometime, listening intently while the ship went away, buzzing all the time and Miwako's cries of good-bye, I still didn't manage to calm myself down. It was ridiculous. I started running and bumped into many people on the way out but I didn't care. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing uncontrollably. It just kept coming out. I stopped after a five-mile run and looked up. I found myself standing outside of George's apartment. There was little butterfly keychain hanging out of his mailbox.

I walked towards it, sobbing and then attempted to pull it out from the mailbox. Put it wouldn't come out. There was something attached to it. I opened the mailbox and saw that the keychain was stuck onto a small package. On top of it was big letters written roughly, indicating that the package was for me.

I opened it slowly and gently. By that time, I already calmed down. The theme color of the wrapper was blue. There was a blue rose and some little blue butterflies that flied around it at the right-bottom corner of the package. It was beautiful. When I opened the lid of the package, I saw the butterfly ring that George made for me last time.

Right beside it was a key with a note attached to it. There was an address written on it and was signed by George. Those lay on a soft layer of cotton in the box. The sight of the ring got me kneeling on my knees, holding the package close to me. I cried silent tears. Then questions started to pop up in my mind. _How did he know that I'm going to come along and check his mailbox after he left? What if I didn't come by at all? _Actually I already knew the answer. _He was sure that I'd come by at some point. _

I wondered why I didn't want to go to the address written on the piece of paper. I still have that box with me. From that day onwards, I wore the butterfly ring on my third finger and never took it off ever since. I wore it to whatever places I went. I guess it was comforting, and besides, it's very beautiful. But then Hiroyuki didn't really like it that I wore that instead of my engagement ring. So I stopped wearing it since we got engaged.

I never get to answer Isabella's question and at last, after waiting for two hours, he left me there thinking. It stayed in my mind all night and I found it hard to sleep. The worst thing is, I've got myself involved in this wedding I never wanted to happen. I have to find a way to get out of it. But then I learned something today and I was sure of it. I can never let go now.

**A/N **So? How was it? Do you want more? If you do...R&R- XP


	5. Chapter 5

Can it be that I don't wanna let go at all? I really don't know. What I know is that Hiro was waiting for me in the living room when I came out with _only_, yes only, my shirt on. I was so shocked but he just smiled at me. And then I knew why. He thought that it's alright since I'm already his fiancé and bride-to-be in two months. Well, I kindda didn't like the part where he just sat there and stared at me. All the time smiling.

After a very long time, I finally got my tongue back. 'Hey…enough of the staring already…'

'Well, in just two months, I'll get to see you without that shirt too…what's the difference?' his smile broaden.

'There is a difference…'

He walked over to me very slowly, step by step. Then he just lifted my chin, since he is still taller than me even though I'm a model (but not quite as tall as _him_), and stuck his tongue into my mouth. I just stared. His hands raced up the shirt and touching my bumps constantly. The only thing missing is the feel. I don't feel this empty when I do this with George.

The only thing that was on my mind was: George will just take off my shirt and then only do that. I think that Hiro is inexperienced. His hands are trembling.

'Hey, Hiro…' I said loudly when his lips started moving downwards. 'I'm really tired. And I don't really think that this is a very good time…'

He pulled off. 'You're free today, right? Well, I bet you wanna spend it with me, so I got a day-off…'

'Well, I sort of had other plans…'

'Oh…'

'Yeah…I'm sorry…'

'No, it's alright…I should have called to tell you that I was coming…'

'Alright…you wanna stay for breakfast?'

'Oh no, thanks…if you have other plans, go ahead…' he went out of the door without even looking back. I put all my stuff into the bag Miwako bought me last time. Then I reached up to the top of the cupboard and took the box down.

'Taxi…Arrrghh…nevermind! I can just walk there…' I don't know whom I am telling that to. I'm really going nuts. And the worst thing is, I don't know why. I asked around and finally arrived at a place that seemed very old and dirty on the outside but very clean, beautiful and neat on the inside.

There was a huge sign nailed onto the door but I couldn't see what it says. I just saw the petals of some blue roses at the corners of it. _This is it. I must be the right house…_

I took out the key from the box and prayed that it would fit into the hole. -CLICK- and the door opened in a slight push. -EEERRRKKK- I just knew I should have came ten years ago. There were pointers on the floor and I followed them to a room that is at the far end of the house. There were butterflies on the door.

I turned the knob and pushed with an effort. It opened noisily. What I saw inside that room pierced my heart. The next thing I knew, I started crying. Sitting on the floor staring at the dresses even though I couldn't really see. I sat there for the whole afternoon and finally decided that I would clean the whole place up.

The house was in a seeable condition after it was cleaned throughout. Then I suddenly remembered the sign and was really curious in what it says. I wiped the dust off with a piece of wet cloth.

_To my dearest of all,_

_YUKARI HAYASAKA._

Tears blinded my sight. I can't think anymore. Suddenly I felt hands wrapping around me and the scent felt familiar. Wait, I didn't just wake up on bed did I? No. It's almost midnight.

'I just came by to see how _our_ house is doing. I didn't know that I will find you here…well, lucky me…' he let out the chuckle that I was so familiar with that if I hear it anyway, I would immediately know that it was him. Well, this is he. I'm sure of it.

I didn't struggle anymore. Instead, I felt calm. Like the time has suddenly stopped at this moment and everything just felt so clam and peaceful. I haven't had this feeling for a long time.

It felt like I was in…

Paradise.

That's the only word I managed to find to fully describe this feeling. I wished it would last forever. 'George…'

'Hey…' he played with my hair. 'Long time no see…'

He pushed me through the door and carried me up the stairs. I had the feel that I never will have with Hiro and when his lips press against mine, looking for an entrance, I felt complete. He brought the part he took ten years ago back to me. That night, I didn't even have a thought about Hiro. And fortunately for me, I knew why this time.

**A/N **So, so, so?! How was it? Please review!!! Thx!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N** Thx for the reviews people…I already wrote the ending for this, so just stay tuned and you will find out what happened…

When I woke up, I kept my eyes closed, breathing in the scent. I know if I opened my eyes, the scent will be gone and the warmth radiating from the body next to me will be gone. The felt of the arms wrapping around me will vanish instantly.

After a while, I decided that I should get up. When I opened my eyes, the scent was still there and the warmth was still there. The arms that was wrapping around me every morning before I opened my eyes did not vanish. I was shocked. Somebody please pinch me! Please tell me that I'm dreaming. Wait…I dreamed the whole thing right?

B-But, if I dreamed it, why is it still here? His chest is brushing against my back; his hands are all over me. His hand suddenly pulled up the comforter and wrapped it around us. I was shivering because it was really cold despite of his warmth.

'Good morning…' he started kissing my neck.

'Am I dreaming?'

'No, you're not dreaming.'

Tears blocked my vision and I shed silent tears. I turned around and buried my face into his chest.

'Shhhhh…don't worry, I'm back. Everything is going to be fine. You won't have to marry that guy. I won't ever leave your sight again.'

'Promise…?' I choked out.

'Promise…' he kissed me on the forehead.

'B-but then, w-what are we going to do? Wedding's the day after tomorrow…'

'Don't you worry your _small_…ah… anyways; I'll have a plan! If not, why would I even come back if I'm going to return with nothing…' he grinned broadly.

'Alright…'

'Are you hungry?'

'Well, yeah…now that you mention it…'

'Okay…why not we cook together? You brought food yesterday right?'

'Yeah…they're in the fridge…'

'Okay, let's go!'

'Wait! Like this?' I pointed at us. He was half naked, I was just wearing my bra and underwear.

'Arrrghh…who'll be here to see us like this?' he said very gently. Then he pushed me down the stairs. We ate breakfast and only then, I knew that George has became a very successful designer and also a very professional model. Why didn't I know that before? I should know that already, right? Since I'm in modeling career…well, it doesn't matter anyway.

That morning, I just felt so complete that even being late for two hours for the shoot doesn't even bother me anymore. I didn't know what he took away from me at first. But now, I know.

George took away my abilities to feel.

**A/N** There only two more chapters left. So R&R… thx for reading!!!


	7. Chapter 7

Today is my wedding ceremony. If George is going to do anything, anything at all, it better be today. I didn't want to get married at all now that I got back my abilities to feel. I would have to stop the whole thing all by myself if he's not here.

The ceremony was held in the garden of our future home. Hahaha…Hiroyuki actually bought the house under my name. I wonder if they're going to bring a priest or something…

'Honey, are you alright?'

'Yeah…I'm fine…'

'You look pale…and are you expecting some important guest or something? 'Coz you have been staring at the entrance for the past two hours…'

'Oh...really? Well, no. I'm not expecting anyone…'

'Honey, I'm so nervous…oh yeah…you said your family's flew back from Sydney yesterday night, right? Are they coming?'

'They are already here…there they are…' I pointed towards Dad. 'They're eating there around that fruits table.' Then Hiroyuki went away. I bet he went over to say hi or something.

Arrrghh…is this George coming or not?! Then suddenly, Hiroyuki's mom came over and pulled me to the other side of the garden to say hello to a relative of theirs.

A voice announced through the speaker for everyone's attention and said that the ceremony has now begun. Then I saw a priest walking out of the curtains behind the small stage they built. Ahhh…just as I thought…there's going to be a priest. But George isn't here yet…they can't start! What should I do?

I walked nervously up the pavement in my father's arm. I've always loved this scene in the movies and now that it's really happening, I find that I really wanna just grab my heavy wedding dress and run out of the picture.

I felt really nervous and clenched onto my father's arm. He thought I was very touched by this whole thing that he is here and so he patted my hand. I looked up and force a smile at him. He smiled back happily. Then he said something that really made me feel guilty.

'My little girl's all grown up now...' I saw a tear hesitating to slid down, still roaming around in his eyes. I looked at mum. The mother that I always thought preferred my brother;the mother that is always expecting too much that I can't handle anymore;the mother that was now shedding tears into her small white handkerchief, outlined with lavenders that I sew for her during home economies class a long time ago. That was when I realized that my parents are really getting old. I feel like crying.

drip drip I looked down at my hands covered with white-silked gloves, holding the bouquet of flowers. Tears were flowing. I am crying. With each thought, I neared the spot where I Hiroyuki was waiting for me, with a bright smile;the spot where I am supposed to say, 'I do' after the priest has said the commitment thingie;the spot where I am about to be bonded with this man forever.

My father handed over my hand to Hiroyuki and went back to his seat beside my mother. We turned and face the priest. When he was just about to started his 'speech' of bonding, a loud screech came out of nowhere. Everyone got distracted, including me and turned around.

When I saw the scent that was about to take place right in front of me, I heard my heart breaking into pieces and my whole world started to crumble. The bouquet of flowers dropped from my hand onto the floor. My head was completely blank that I can't even think.


	8. Chapter 8 END

BANG, 'NO...!!!' tears came flowing out automatically as the vision of the silver sporty race car crashed into the up coming truck blurred.

I picked up my white dress and ran out of the garden. I kept saying 'No, no, no, no...' and replaying all over again inside my head. Please don't let anything happen to him. Please, God, Lord Kami, Lord Kira, whoever...please protect him!

I kneeled down and glanced into the up-side-down car, lying in the middle of the road. The scene inside was awful. I heard Hiroyuki and my father's and mother's voice calling my name at the same time.

I heard someone screaming;people panicking...it was all in a mess.

'Somebody help...! sob please sob call 911...! sob sob' I turned back to George. 'George...George, can you hear me?! George?! Please...please answer me, George, George...' my voice grew weaker. When I called the man inside covered with blood George, Hiroyuki's face beside me, changed completely.

'Yukari breathe don't cry...' he exclaimed out of pain and I started to panic all over again.

'George...George, are you okay?!' I was afraid that I would lose him right here and now. I don't want that to happen, I really don't want it to. I want to see him smile at me again, to wake up in the morning and find him looking at me as he did yesterday, to cook and eat breakfast with him, to see him at work, to smile at him whenever he was tired...to spend every moment of his life together with him.

'I love you...' he paused for breathing and tried to steady himself for a while. 'I'm breathe sorry...' he looked at me in the eyes and smiled for one last time. It started pouring heavily all of a sudden.

That was how I remembered it after such a long time. The smile he showed me gave me motivation. It gave me power when I was tired. It gave me strength whenever I'm down. It was the source of my happiness, the energy of my life.

It gave me everything I've ever wanted to have. It was the last thing that he did before he left this lonely world forever.

That day, he died on the spot before the ambulance actually came. They said he broke his ribs and spine. They said it was lucky that he didn't survive it because even if he did, he would not be able to even breathe by himself ever again. That he would suffer.

For me, I'd rather he lived and survived everything and still be here with me now. But then, come to think of it, he was a man with so much pride and ego. To ask him to live not even be able to breathe by himself would be pure torture to his soul. I wouldn't want that.

The moment I stepped out of the hospital, it stopped raining. Instead, there was a huge rainbow right before my eyes, curving in a way as if it was smiling at me just like George. I felt the burden lift off my shoulders as I walked towards the house he left me with a brave smile on my face. I think that this is what he wanted for me. No, I know that this is what he always wanted for me.

For me to smile bravely and be truly happy for the rest of my life. I know it. Don't ask me how but I just did. The next day, the picture of me in my wedding gown crying in the rain before the car made it to every newspaper and front-covers of magazines throughout Japan.

But when I was questioned by the reporters and paparazzi, all I did was smile.

Hiroyuki left the country for studies shortly after that. I apologized to him. Miwako and Arashi engaged a while after that. Isabella made it into the finest cloth company in Japan.

Everything fell into place. After two years, I finally set up a modeling agency just like Miwako said I should. Well, she and Arashi had a baby boy that was two years old at that time. They are so happy together.

As for me, a few weeks after George left, I shifted into our house and stayed there ever since. Oh, and one important detail. Beside the smile, George left me another thing after he left.

My son has the eyes of just like him. As blue and as deep as the ocean. But then his hair was as black as mine. The day he was born, I told the whole world that he's George's son. And I really meant the whole world. He's four years old right now and very active. It kept me busy. And I was really happy.

And, guess what...I named him after George.

George Jr. Koizumi. Just like his father, he brought joy into my life and gave it a meaning.

_The End..._


End file.
